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The Humorous Speech Champion of the 6th Annual IBQ Communicator Awards 2011 Mr. Ashfaque Deshmukh receiving Trophy, Cheque & Gifts from Ambassador of Pakistan H.E. Muhammad Sarfraz Khanzada in the presence of, Mr.Phillip King of IBQ, Mr. Chandramohan Pillai of IBQ, Mr.Ravi Kumar – ICC-ONE President, Ms.Sweta Bharadwaj – Master of Ceremony, Ms Subha Anupindi – Chief Coordinator, & Mr. M.I. Farid – Founder President of ICC-ONE. |
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LOSER :
I am the seasoned loser of the IBQ Communicator Awards,
but last year nobody could defeat me.
No…No… I was not the winner, I simply did not participate!
Every year after losing the contest, on reaching home,
my wife….Thinking that I am hiding the trophy to give her a surprise. “Where is the Trophy? Where is the Cheque? Where are the Gifts?
“No dear, I am sorry I am not the winner”
instead of giving me support - “hm LOSER!!!!”.
Contest Chair, Panel of Judges Ladies & Gentleman a very good evening to all of you.
The judging in IBQ is biased….!!!
In IBQ Communicator Awards Winners are always pre-fixed by the Organizing committee.
Please don’t mind but after losing I have to tell this to my wife to save myself from her anger.
To prove this to her I am going to take the clip of today’s video recording when the Contest Chair called me saying “Loser, Ashfaque Deshmukh”.
Last time when I lost the contest, after the announcements I started rehearsing my facial expressions!
Giving a plastic smile to everyone, as I was not in the mood to smile.
When I gave one such plastic smile to a very senior Toastmaster, he immediately understood the sorrow hidden in my heart and so he said to me “Winner is not the person who comes first, winner is the person who does better than before”.
I memorized this saying. Then I went to my house, my wife opened the door. After usual facial expressions, seeing her upset mood I tried to make her understand. “Dear, please don’t get upset WINNER IS NOT A PERSON WHO COMES FIRST, WINNER IS A PERSON WHO DOES BETTER THAN BEFORE…. And believe me I did better than before so I am the winner”
“If that was the case why you had to go to Ramada Hotel, you could have done it here at home, I already guessed that you will definitely not win….”
“Are you an astrologer?”
“No need to know astrology, while going when you readily accepted to give me all the winning money, I understood that you are not going to win”
“Oh you mean to say YOUR luck is not good.”
“Now stop wasting time going to these competitions, you are addicted to losing, you will never win”
“Hey, don’t doubt my capabilities I am not the only person responsible for losing, your cooking is also equally responsible for it”
“My cooking!!!!.”
“Yes, your cooking made me the loser”
“And how is that”
“If you could cook tasty food, I would be FAT and then nobody bothers for the performance or the content, the Judges give marks on your volume!”
See the records, all past Winners are voluminous!
Today while coming her attitude was very threatening, she warned me “Ashfaque, If you do not win today I am going to commit suicide”
So, Judges…please help me…. Please make me the loser again!
Before the event some of my friends suggested,
“Put some western jokes in your speech because all the judges are non-Asians”
The idea was not bad. But from where do I get western jokes?
I searched using google.com typing western jokes and then thousands of pages appeared.
On clicking some links the page appeared “Your search for Western jokes ends here, for instant access, pay $350 and laugh on thousands of jokes.”
Friend I don’t know about you but after spending $350 I cannot laugh for next the 350 days.
Initially my boss was also criticising me calling me a “A Bad Speaker”, which was really putting me down but now he has stopped commenting because I made him my official mentor.
Though out of respect I don’t tell him anything when I lose but he listens what my heart says… “A Bad Mentor”.
I recently visited my friend’s house where a huge trophy was displayed written “The Biggest Loser”. I said to myself “hmm that means losers also are honoured; in that case I deserve such a trophy from IBQ Communicator Awards.” Then suddenly my friend came and said “I got this trophy for “Losing weight”.
So friends, the lesson is - losing is not bad, its fun. You learn to handle various situations.
I also would like to tell my fellow contestants that losing is not bad its fun, seriously try it!
Over to the Contest chair!
