We all know that bosses are a real cause of our frustration. Right ? How many of you have ever slapped your boss?
(look around with a pause), No one –
I have (pause) in my imagination!
How many of you have ever told your wife to "Go to Hell"
(look around with a pause), wow at least there are few brave husbands in the audience.
Me too (pause) in reality. Of course after that I had to starve for a week because when I asked for food
she told me (talk in a female voice) "It is not allowed to cook in hell"!
Contest Chair, ladies and gentlemen, Good Evening.
My dilemma till date is why do people wait for a reality to occur when they can experience the same through imagination.
How do I prepare for my Toastmaster meetings.
The day I have to give a humorous speech I imagine that I am speaking in an International Speech contest. Believe me everyone starts laughing while I stand there wondering what is going on.
When I have to give an International Speech I imagine that I am in a humorous speech competition. No one laughs, everyone looks at each other and looks back at me to see what I am talking about. I then only have to wait for the timer to grin and there I am, I have finished my international speech.
My message is –
if you know that what you are going to do is only going to end up in frustration and desperation what should you do?
You should …..(Wait for people to answer) I-m-a-g-i-n-e.
Right. I thought you all had gone into the world of imagination already.
Please listen to me attentively – you can start imagining after I have finished my speech.
My journey towards becoming an imagination expert all started one morning when I wanted a promotion.
I went to my boss and asked him for a promotion.
My boss asked me why I wanted a promotion.
I said, “Boss, I want a salary raise”,
(speak in a deep voice) "if you want a raise stand on the nearest chair….".
I was deeply hurt that day and that very night in my desperation I saw myself sitting in my boss's chair and my boss was standing in front of me begging me for a promotion. I gave him a chair asked him to stand on it and when he stood on the chair I brought out my big palm and gave him one tight slap. Next thing I knew was, my wife bandaging my bleeding hand as I had broken the glass table lamp next to our bed!
Imagine, Imagine and Imagine, even the sky is not the limit if you were to imagine.
I became so confident of my imagination skills that I started teaching it to others as well.
I had a crazy, sorry, clever set of Toastmasters in my house one day and I was giving them an educational module on the topic the Art of Imagination.
Suddenly one of the Toastmasters stood up and said that he wanted to practice the skills immediately.
Knowing that it is typical of Toastmasters to act immediately, I asked him to go ahead. He stood in front of everyone and said "Now imagine God has gifted a tail to all human beings!"
Now how would we evaluate Toastmaster's speeches?
“Your speech was very nice but in my humble opinion, a few pointers for improvement.
"Why didn’t you lift your tail and greet the audience"
“You kept your tail down throughout your speech which shows a sign of nervousness.”
"You were not moving your tail during speech transitions"
Remember….. tail expressions are very important”
Ladies and Gentlemen, I had to struggle for the next 5 minutes to bring back the Toastmaster from the world of imagination to the world of reality.
So I do encourage you to imagine but be reasonable. Don’t over imagine like my fellow humorous speech competitors that they will win the IBQ Humorous Award. Be reasonable like me to imagine that I will win it after all!
Imagine sensibly, reasonably & intelligently like me when only yesterday I was with Mr. Obama to congratulate him on winning the Nobel Peace prize and he apologized that it was supposed to be won by me but they somehow chose Obama's name at the last moment because they wanted me to win the IBQ Communicator Award instead!
Ladies & Gentlemen, The world of imagination is yours. Don’t imagine it just experience it!
A serious word of caution to those who are prone to talking in their sleep.
Never imagine bad about your spouse.
You never know when IMAGINATION can turn to REALITY!!!
Over to the Contest Chair.
