Free Delivery Free Delivery – where is it – my wife is in labour – where is the labour ward.
What do you call a person looking for a free labour ward outside a Pizza joint which has a big sign – FREE DELIVERY.
Well I call him a miser!!!
Misers are aplenty in this world and I have had the good fortune to come across some of them.
A person goes to a Hotel where it is clearly written “Eating your own food is not allowed”.
Well, he exchanged his Tiffin box with his friend!
A person’s house was on fire.
He gave 100’s of missed calls to the Fire Brigade!
Whenever I reject my wife’s proposal to buy ornaments for her, she angrily says “Mr. Miser”.
I am sure after watching today’s video she will definitely become happy as the Contest Chairperson also called me “Mr. Miser Ashfaque Deshmukh!”
If you ask me for the best miser that I have come across and if IBQ bank were to have a competition in miserliness then the winner would be my uncle YASIR the ultimate miser
and I am in no way referring to my good friend TM Yasir. He is a good friend, very generous and not a miser and might even share the prize money with me tonight.
So let me take you back to my childhood. One day I heard a shout
Salman!!!...Salman….!!! Take a bag from the house and go to the market to buy potatoes. They are very cheap today. Go hurry up.
Salman (my cousin) took a bag from the house and came back to his father (my uncle) and asked him “Papa how many kilos potato should I buy.”
“250 gms!”
Yes, my uncle is a classic, Ideal, exemplary miser.
Well known as the Miser of the town but who is proud of all his miserly actions.
Now he was trying to teach the same skills to his son Salman.
He was always telling my father,
“Your children are spending money unnecessarily unlike my children” and to prove that he would always ask us various questions.
One day he asked me a question in front of my father.
“Ashfaque..!!!! What will you do if I give you 50 rupees?”
Though I was 100% sure that he will never give me 50 rupees but to be sincere in front of my father I replied,
“I will buy some chocolates and some of my favorite story books”
The he asked the same question to Salman.
“Salman tell me what you will do if I give you 50 rupees”
“I will give it back to you immediately”
My father surprised and asked Salman
“Salman …. Why you will return that money?”
“Uncle…. I know he will take it from my pocket when I sleep.”
When we were in college Salman was nearing graduation from his father’s university but Guru Uncle was always keeping an eye on his activities.
Someone gave information to uncle that Salman was always taking his girlfriend to restaurants.
Uncle Yasir became angry, not for Salman having a girlfriend but that Salman was spending money.
When Salman came home, Uncle Yasir in an angry mood asked him,
“I am not asking you whether today you took your girlfriend to a restaurant or not. Tell me clearly how much money you spent in the restaurant?”
“100 rupees”
“What 100 rupeesss!!!!!!”
“What to do Papa? She had only that much”
One day a nice person came to Uncle Yasir to change his ways.
He said “Please stop all these miserly acts and change yourself”. It is not good instead do some social work. Help others. Do at least one kind act a day”.
Next day excitedly uncle Yasir told his friend that he had done a good act and had saved the life of a beggar.
“That’s a very nice beginning……What did you do?” said the friend.
“I asked the beggar, what if I give you 1000 rupees now itself”
“I will die of a Heart Attack”
“So I did not give him anything.”
The American Novelist, Nathaniel Hawthorne has rightly said,
“Punishment of a miser - to pay the drafts of his heir in his tomb”
Unfortunately Uncle Yasir was suspected to have Diabetes.
The Doctor asked Uncle to give his Urine sample for checking to the laboratory.
Accordingly Uncle gave a test tube of the sample.
On confirmation that he had sugar in his urine, he went to the laboratory.
"Give me back my urine sample!"
"But Sir, it is of no use, we have thrown it."
"I will complain to the authorities, how can you throw off my sample?"
"Bur Sir, it is of no use to you."
"What do you mean? It had sugar in it!"
I leave it to your imagination what Uncle Yasir wanted to use the sugar for!
